


No one else

by ajproctor



Category: Wentworth (TV)
Genre: F/F
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-12-22
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 22:21:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,186
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28244604
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ajproctor/pseuds/ajproctor
Summary: "I love you. And no one else".A series dedicated to Joan and Jianna, whatever one shots come into my mind.
Relationships: Joan Ferguson/Jianna Riley
Comments: 3
Kudos: 7





	1. Moonlight

**Author's Note:**

> Moonlight //
> 
> Jianna tries to help Joan to understand and let her go.

**First time I heard your voice, moonlight burst into the room**

_"My name is Miss Ferguson",_

_"Jianna Riley"._

_The young woman held out her hand to Joan who reached forward and took it softly._

_It was her timidness and tenderness that welcomed Jianna. No one else had been so kind. She would never forget it._

Now Joan sat with Jianna in her arms, though she could hardly see her face through the blurring tears that were rapid and terrifying. 

Here they were in the moonlight, much like their nightly meetings. Except she could no longer hear the giggles escaping Jianna, feel the coolness of her fingers upon her skin as she searched for breath within the laughter... her lips against hers...

There were only sobs. Lung crushing sobs that soared like bombshells that burnt among the corridors. It was the end of the world.

_**My love, it’s okay. I wanted this, you don’t have to cry for me...** _

_**I wish I could wrap my arms around you and tell you how it’s** _ **_going to be okay. That you will move on from this._**

_**Joan... was I really this important to you?** _

_**You made me feel it. I want to thank you one last time but all I can do is write it in a letter. Please read it.** _

_**Let me go. Read the letter.** _

_**I know you will do all you can for Shayne. But please look after yourself. This is my doing, not yours, why are you talking about yourself this way? There was nothing you could do, Joan, please stop!** _

Nothing Jianna could say would get through to Joan. All Joan knew was silence. The gathering of the crowd around her and Jianna... Jianna’s... dead.. body.. in hers...

There was no comprehending this, Jianna couldn’t leave her... she left desperate, deeply loving kisses on her life fading cheeks, her cold forehead, her still lips.

"Joan, she’s gone".

Footsteps came close and Joan clutched Jianna in refusal, using all her might to keep her protected.

"No! Go away!" Joan’s screams echoed through the ears of all watching; filling their own eyes with sympathy, it was so hard to see.

  
  


**_Joan, stop, it’s not his fault. Please let him help._ **

Joan’s head rose from Jianna, slowly but savagely, as if she had somehow become corrupted.

"You killed her".

Her growl left lumps in the throats of the inmates standing around. Murmurs flickered throughout, causing an ambush of anger in Joan.   
  
  


**_No no no, they didn’t do anything, you have to believe me! I know how it seems but I did this. Only_** **_I_** **_did this, they knew nothing about it. Nobody did._**

**_Joan look at me... find me, I’m right here, you can’t think this because it’s not true! Joan!_ **   
  
  
  
  


But of course Jianna was gone. Her begs got lost within Joan, though her spirit would not take flight. 

She would have to let go of her sometime, Joan knew that. But she needed to consume her faint smell of vanilla shampoo. Touch her skin one last time in case she ever forgot what it felt like, she needed to remember. Take in her beauty although she was just a body, she truly had been everything to Joan and she needed to be with her, she wouldn’t give her up easily.

**_You won’t forget, Joan. Don’t worry, I’m safe now. Im fine and you will be too. I promise._ **

"I love you my sweet girl", Joan lightly brushed the hair that dangled from Jianna’s ears, stroked her fingers upon her restful face with care. 

**_Goodbye beautiful Joan. You are beautiful, okay? Don’t forget that, you know I hate it when you say otherwise. Be happy, don’t let this ruin your life.  
_ **

**_I love you._ **

**_And no one else._ **


	2. The world opened wide

**I saw your eyes and I saw your smile and the world opened wide and the world was inside of me**

_Her eyes were ponds of mist, though they cleared upon seeing Jianna. She tried not to fall too_ _deep but it was like... a force that I couldn’t restrain herself from.  
_

_And her smile, it woke countless realms that Joan didn’t know existed._

_For Jianna it was the sweetness. She felt safe. She felt at home. She had been fragile but Joan built her back together_.

**I catch my breath and I laugh and blush and I hear guitars**

_"Just imagine it. We’re on some balcony in Paris or Greece or wherever you want it to be. The_ _sun is going down, it’s so beautiful. Somewhere in the distance there’s people but here it’s secluded. Quiet. Just you and me. Maybe there’s violins and guitars playing from a band playing nearby like one of those Disney movies. It’s the perfect date"._

 _At that moment, Jianna giggled. Joan pressed into her from behind, her arms having been_ _pulled by Jianna to cuddle her smaller frame. The moonlight spayed dark yellow hues amidst the dusk but the future was so bright.  
_

_"No, you have to imagine it. Just close your eyes, let me do the talking", Jianna had placed Joan’s hands on top of hers and Joan nodded. "Okay"._

A million cups of teas and glasses of water. A thousand I’m sorry for your loss. 

Joan sat facing the wall. It all went over her head, it was... blank. 

There was a stage of grief that needed to be passed. But there was a void in Joan where that should be. Get up. Get on with it. Smile. 

**_Joan honey, this isn’t healthy... you can’t hold this in, you need to let it out._ **

Keep it in. You’ve spent enough time. Thinking gets you nowhere when it’s just as pointless as this.

**_No! Listen, you will move past this yes but I can’t watch you do this. I know you. Being a part of you now, I can feel your pain. God I wish I could change things, it hurts so much... you can’t hold this inside of you. It’s not good..._ **

"Jianna, I’m not going to just coil myself up in bed and cry... those prisoners killed you, they took what we had and turned it into something..."

Joan couldn’t even find the words. They needed taking down, every day she had let these thoughts consume her. Thoughts of revenge, this newfound rage within her. She feared it would never leave her. But was that such a bad thing?

"I will never let it go. I will never move on, just... just let me be, Jianna".

Joan felt Jianna’s sigh drift from her being like a cloud she tried to reach but again it was too late.

Now her future had to be readjusted. She tried to imagine the places Jianna had taken her but she could hardly move her arms and legs from anger, never mind get away from here. There was no fresh start, she had things to do. 

"I’m sorry Jianna. I know I failed you. But I will make it up to you. And when we meet again, we will live like we planned. Just you and me and no one else.

My Jianna".


End file.
